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The FAMILIES! website from K-State Research and Extension is designed to share research-based educational information for enhancing the quality of personal and family life in communities throughout Kansas as well as the nation. We hope you take time to browse through our web pages to find resources that could be helpful in your daily life, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, or other persons with whom you are connected in the community.

If you are a Kansas resident, your local K-State Research and Extension office can give you assistance with family-related resources. They can provide you with the materials listed under publications and other information as requested.

Tip of the Month - September (Gottman, 2001)

·      When you have a disagreement with someone, try to stay connected and engaged with one another instead of being defensive and unkind.

·      Consider exhibiting affection, interest, and shared respect.  If possible, exhibit your sense of humor even during times of disagreement, but remember to still display respect to the other person.

·      Consider turning toward one another in times of disagreement, as this will allow you to react in a positive way, thus promoting emotional connection.  Over time, a couple can develop stable, long-term relationships from this behavior.

·      Avoid turning against one another in times of difference.

Relationship Tip

Coping with stress often begins with healthy communication and conflict resolution. Here are some tips to maintain positive relationships during busy times of the year:

  • Avoid accusatory statements so that the listener is more willing to respond positively.
  • When stress levels rise, practice calming techniques such as time-outs, soft voices, humor, or smiling.
  • Avoid hot-button topics and focus on keeping the conversation light and cordial.
  • Accept your differences and work towards a compromise. While conflict can be stressful, forgiveness can strengthen your family and your relationship

Source: National Resource Center for Healthy Marriage and Families